


fuck it im wearing skirts now

by lizardystopia



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Ending, Bring back the June Egbert tag you cowards, Bro had Issues, Earth C, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Misogyny, Internalized Transphobia, June being a good friend, Just Friendship, NOT Dave/June, Sailor Moon Cosplay, They're both too gay for this, Trans Dave Strider, Trans Male Dave Strider, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 06:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21351808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizardystopia/pseuds/lizardystopia
Summary: There are many things Dave would do for the sake of irony, but it turns out wearing a skirt triggers mixed feelings he would rather not have to think about again.(Basically : transmasc Dave wonders if wearing a skirt would make him less of a man and talks to June about it)
Kudos: 52





	fuck it im wearing skirts now

**Author's Note:**

> jsdfjsdlkf maybe this was a silly idea idk, but i wanted to write a serious conversation between Dave and June about gender so here you go :^) set in an alternate HS ending in which everyone is happy on Earth C because that was easier for the plot.

Dave Strider was objectively one of the luckiest guys in the world. He had TWO ecto-dads, a loving alien boyfriend, cool lesbian sisters and awesome friends. And also, he was an immortal god. Basically, Dave had never felt so happy in his 25 years of life, even though you probably wouldn’t hear it from his mouth. Life was quite comfortable on Earth C now, and they were all doing their best so that it would keep being that way. So yeah, pretty lucky guy.

Except today, Dave was faced with the first dilemma he’s had to deal with since quite some time, and that dilemma took the form of a piece of clothing between the hands of his Very Best Friend. Dave stared at the thing like a feral cat presented with food that could be poisoned.

DAVE: yeah i think ill pass

His answer made his best friend sigh dramatically. Dave couldn’t take his eyes off of the blue fabric, as if it was going to magically come to life and jump at his throat.

JUNE: oh come on! what’s wrong with this one?   
DAVE: idk not really my color   
JUNE: you said the same thing about the six previous ones, and they were all different colors.   
DAVE: whats your point   
JUNE: well i think it’s time we at least conceive the possibility that *maybe* the color isn’t the problem, dude.

June put the skirt back into the pile and crossed her arms, giving Dave the sternest look she could perform.

JUNE: you know, i’ve already said it but... if you don’t want to wear a skirt, it’s fine, you know. i mean we could still think of something else.   
DAVE: no fuck that im not ditching the sailor moon group cosplay thing that shit is the best idea weve had in years   
DAVE: do you even know how long it took to find something both rose and jade agreed to   
DAVE: or the humiliating sacrifices i had to make to convince karkat to join us  
DAVE: the things he made me do   
JUNE: of course i know, you whined about the thresh prince marathon all week, man.   
DAVE: theres so many episodes june   
DAVE: so fucking many episodes   
JUNE: yeah, yeah.   
JUNE: then how about you dress up as one of the sailor moon girls, but wearing shorts or something instead?   
JUNE: or those man skirts they used to wear in scotland.   
DAVE: dont insult me june that would be pretty dumb and not even in the good ironic way   
DAVE: i have a reputation here   
JUNE: siiiiiiiigh.   
DAVE: ill pick one its fine i just need to  
DAVE: yknow   
DAVE: ...   
DAVE: i just need some time okay

June stayed quiet and Dave turned to look at a row of white fluffy skirts without really looking. God he felt so dumb, being so hesitant about the whole thing. It was just a stupid skirt. But even if there weren’t many things Dave wouldn’t do for ironic purposes, that was actually the one thing he felt uncomfortable with.

JUNE: i mean... i get it, you know.   
DAVE: you do   
JUNE: of course.  
JUNE: when i first came out, i was so obsessed and sensitive about being seen as a girl, i just felt like i had to go with anything that could make me look more feminine.   
JUNE: as if having short hair or wearing pants would make me less of a woman!   
JUNE: and i guess it just felt so liberating, being able to wear dresses or ribbons and stuff without feeling weird or ugly for the first time, i couldn’t get tired of it. :B   
DAVE: yeah i know the feeling   
JUNE: right?! i mean i think it took me a whole year before i started wearing shorts again.   
DAVE: see i know in my brain that gender is just a concept and everything we used to consider as masculine or feminine in the old world we just see it that way because its been pounded inside our heads since the day we were born   
DAVE: or slime cloned and sent to earth in this case i guess   
DAVE: like the big hammer of cishet propaganda the media was hitting us with and we just kept asking for more like the dumb masochist kids we were because every strike on the head made us forget the pain we had everywhere else   
DAVE: leaving us so brain-damaged we didnt have any energy left to think about our problems or the important stuff we always tried to avoid thinking of because we were too lazy and scared to bother   
DAVE: i know that   
DAVE: but   
DAVE: uuuuuuuurrhhh

Dave was having trouble finding the right words to explain himself, or rather, he knew the words but they were all getting stuck inside his throat the moment he tried to get them out. As he was struggling to form his next sentence, he felt June’s hand gently patting his back. She made a gesture to invite Dave to fly out of the store’s window with her and they landed at a bench in an empty park nearby, were she probably felt Dave could talk more freely without risking to be heard by people around. Dave took a deep breath. He had never been one to talk easily about his problems, but for the last few years he had made an effort being more open about it with his closest friends. He suspected it was mostly Roxy’s influence. As it turned out, helping someone going through the same journey as he did when he was a kid had been a real cathartic experience for him.

DAVE: its just   
DAVE: living with my bro   
DAVE: you know it was pretty shitty and traumatic in many fucked up ways like all of our childhoods were but the thing he was especially harsh about was making me into a warrior   
DAVE: which apparently to him also meant making me into a man  
DAVE: like i never had any girl clothes or dolls or anything and whenever my hair was getting too long i had to cut it no question asked  
DAVE: not like i even tried to question it it was just normal to me you know  
DAVE: and even if he never actually called me a boy when i was a kid or anything he had that weird obsession about rejecting everything remotely feminine in the house as if it were something that would make me weak   
DAVE: it kind of fucked me up for years even after he died because i was like am i really actually trans or am i just living up to my bros expectations???   
DAVE: its still pissing me on sometimes when i think that ill never know for sure if this is really who i am or if its who he made me to be   
DAVE: idk if that makes sense   
JUNE: no, i think i get it.   
JUNE: but if you think about it, i was always raised to be a man too, and yet here i am!   
JUNE: in the end i don’t think it really matters how your bro wanted you to be, because if you were a girl, nothing he could have done to you or told you would have changed how you saw yourself.   
JUNE: it would have popped out one day or another, just like it did for me when i couldn’t take it anymore.   
JUNE: i mean... you don’t feel like a girl, right?   
DAVE: hell fucking no  
JUNE: then, that’s it!   
DAVE: yeah i guess that makes sense actually   
DAVE: but anyway my point is ive always kinda lived with the idea that being cute or girly = being weak   
DAVE: which is ofc the dumbest shit ever   
DAVE: and after talking about it with dirk for some time now i kinda get that it was just my bro dumping his own issues and internalized transphobia on me all this time   
DAVE: but i still cant get rid of the feeling that if i do anything thats not considered manly people will stop seeing me as a dude   
DAVE: which is nothing new to you i guess i mean its not like it took me almost eight fucking years to admit i had big gay feelings for my dumb troll boyfriend in my gay little strider heart   
JUNE: still better that spending 23 years without realizing you were a girl. :B   
JUNE: and that not liking boys meant that you were, in fact, very much a homosexual!  
DAVE: hahaha yeah i guess we really are the densest fucks on earth c arent we   
JUNE: but seriously, i don’t think there is anything you can do that will make you seem less of a man at this point.   
JUNE: i know we just established that i was dense, but before you told me, i would never have suspected a thing!   
JUNE: and it’s not only because of how you look like.   
JUNE: but most importantly, i think... all this stuff we used to worry about, it’s not that relevant anymore here.   
JUNE: it’s our universe now, and the best thing about living in an universe you’ve made yourself, is that you get to pick how things are in it!  
JUNE: and i know it’s hard to get away from all the clichés and archetypes we’ve grown with, trust me i do, more than anyone, but there’s no one to judge us or tell us what we should do or who we should be anymore.   
JUNE: in fact, if rose was part of this conversation, she would probably insist that it’s our duty to help create the new rules of this world.   
JUNE: who knows, maybe history will remember you as the guy who showed the people of earth c that a man can wear cute things and still be cool as heck!   
DAVE: damn saying it like this you kinda make me want to do it now   
JUNE: :B   
DAVE: but yeah i suppose youre right   
DAVE: and i should stop making decisions based on what other people would think or what my bro would have wanted me to do  
DAVE: and decide by myself what makes me a man and what doesnt   
DAVE: alright you know what   
DAVE: im doing this shit   
DAVE: im making it happen   
DAVE: dave strider wears skirts now and hes not even doing it ironically   
JUNE: yeah!   
DAVE: although i guess ill also be wearing a big ribbon and a sailor uniform and making dramatic anime poses so in the end we could say ill be doing this both ironically and unironically  
JUNE: hell yeah!!   
DAVE: okay lets go back into the shop help me find something that flatters my legs

June made a comment on how nothing would unfortunately make both her and Dave’s legs look good enough to turn everyone’s attention from Jake’s, and in a couple of minutes they were back into the store, looking for items to perfect their cosplay.

Needless to say, this year’s SBURB victory celebration party would be a huge success.


End file.
